It’s becoming increasingly difficult to remember how bizarre grocery shopping is in Paris as opposed to enjoying the vastness of a Texan HEB or a trip to the soul sucking Wal-Mart of Mississippi.
However, I paused to appreciate some of our finer Parisian products. Below, you will find pictures of our local treasures. If you have trouble viewing them, just click on the picture and it’ll get big. Really big.
Let’s begin with this gem. Haribo has recently unleashed a dangerously tasty candy upon the world flavored with the nectar of the gods- Orangina. Yes, it is delicious. Yes, I’ve nearly reached a diabetic coma eating these.
Special thanks to that tall Texan tourist, Kirston, for discovering this one.
Next, we’ll explore the world of French toilet paper.
We begin with what appears to be some equations. What kind are they? I don’t know. I was too lazy to take any higher level maths or sciences. Maybe this is why France is in the top ten in math scores by grade 12 and the U.S. is at number 19. After Russia, Lithuania, and the Czech Republic.
This roll reminds me of what I like to think about while I’m sitting on the toilet: my imminent death. Is that skeleton offering to wipe my ass? Is this a reminder that I could be just one more poop from kicking the bucket? Who knows. What I do know is, it’s a far cry from this Hello Kitty toilet paper— http://www.hellokittyzone.com/hello-kitty-toilet-paper/
Alright! Now we’re getting somewhere. Clothed lady. Naked lady. Clothed lady. Naked lady.
Chemistry! First person to correctly identify these molecules wins the prize of not being a dumbass.